Communication and collaboration
ESFJs are caring, factual and very action-oriented and organised. They are empathetic and caring and will tune into how people are feeling but then they’ll want to put together a plan to sort it all out. This can make them slightly controlling but with a good heart and positive intent. They will want to ‘talk it all out,’ not missing any detail and then get to the ‘best’ answer, which will be their answer. ESFJs are superb practical carers, who are really happy to get their hands dirty, get in with you and provide common sense practical advice and stick with people. All the detail, the minutiae will be brought out and sifted to arrive at the answer. They offer so much to their friends and families, indeed anyone in need, that they can sometimes feel underappreciated for all their efforts, especially so if someone is ungrateful or doesn’t ‘take the medicine.’ ESFJs are happy to take charge and won’t shy away from telling it like it is, but with a good heart and always with sound advice and a plan.
ESFJs are direct and open in their communication, happy to speak out the unpalatable truths, but less brutally than say an ESTJ. They are excellent at opening people up and getting to the heart of the problem and they will make the time and effort to understand, at the most factual and basic level, what the problem is and so find a course of action. ESFJs are often the organisers, of outings, parties, get-togethers as they are caring, sociable and consummate planners. Everyone can lean on the ESFJ they actually need to be needed and will be the first ones to volunteer, always first responders, and they’ll keep circling back to make sure everyone is OK, checking in on people. That ‘checking in’ will also mean checking how people are and if they are taking the advice given, ESFJs are very thorough.
ESFJs have people at heart and so their decisions tend to be made based on what’s best for people. They really do take the time to care, they take this seriously, it’s a full-time job, and they will be relentless in its pursuit. And ESFJs are very decisive, they’ll take in all the information, decide what’s best and then will want to make it happen. Once they are clear an ESFJ is built to make it happen and follow through, they can really feel how people are feeling but, unlike the just as caring, say, ISFP, an ESFJ doesn’t want to just be a shoulder to lean on but will want to take immediate action.
ESFJs don’t really like conflict and will at all times seek to bring about harmony, jumping in to smooth things over and take charge. They truly value friendships and family links and will want to, and work hard to, see everyone rub along peacefully. Paradoxically that will mean taking people aside when they’re doing something to upset the harmony and telling them so! ESFJs need to feel part of the group, to be included, and they would feel deflated if they weren’t appreciated or their strengths utilised, they want to be wanted. They have such a strong sense of duty and they have immense staying power, all tied up with wanting to help, needing to help, needing to be valued.