INFJ Personality profile: The Confidant

INFJs are notoriously private and guarded individuals very much their own person and so getting emotionally close would be difficult, especially at first. They are incredibly independent, and they’re driven by a complex personal belief system that ‘outsiders’ would find it difficult to enter, they’d have to be invited and that would take trust, and trust takes time to build. INFJs are incredibly caring and they are friendly, just slightly closed off. They are quite intense and take their relationships seriously, as indeed they do with everything, and with those allowed close to them they would have a real friend for life, who would do anything for them, unless that trust was broken. Taking relationships so seriously means INFJs will take on a lot of peoples’ problems so much so that they will often need to shut the whole world out to recharge as their energy will become depleted as they can give so much to others, so much emotional energy.

INFJs are great listeners as they want to go deep and understand issues at a complex level. You get their undivided attention as they’ll take the issue so seriously and want to help. They are not forthcoming themselves, giving very little of their feelings away, except to those who are close, but even then these may have to be gently teased out. However, so quiet and gentle are INFJs that when they are vocal in can be stridently so and this will occur when a value is crossed or when something happens that they see as unfair or unjust. Their values are important to them as they have been built carefully over time and if one is transgressed an INFJ can be uncharacteristically crusading and direct. The problem often occurs as INFJs share very little of themselves and so people wouldn’t know they were hitting a nerve until it was too late. INFJs also have a very strong moral compass, right and wrong, fair or unjust and crossing that line would also see them become far more animated, before heading back into their shell.

As INFJs are such serious-minded individuals that, of course, they take their time making decisions as getting it right will be really important as would making sure any decision aligned with their deeply held value system. INFJs do not flipflop and will weigh everything up in their heads, often holding two opposing views, thinking deeply about the consequences and the big picture, letting very few people into that process until the answer pops out, complete, perfectly formed and incredibly well-thought-through, but still not shared with anyone other than those close. This is why their value system is so important to them, it is deep complex and seriously thought about, never, ever taken lightly or with knew-jerk reactions.

INFJs like quiet, privacy and, when they are interacting, harmony. They do not like the limelight or being the centre of attention and prefer one-to-one conversations and even then, would like that to be on serious, important issues close to their hearts rather than chitchat or conversations for their own sake. INFJs set great store by meaning and so they prefer everything they do to be linked to something higher, some overarching context that they can think deeply about. The only thing that will make an INFJ really come out, uncharacteristically so is, as outlined above, a value being transgressed or an injustice. With everything else they will engage in their normal way, giving away very little or withdraw completely.

Meaning is just so important to the INFJ and they would only really buy in to a team that was trying to achieve something special, or lofty or that will help do something worthwhile. The INFJ can be an intense team member, reminding the group of what is ‘right’ and what their obligations are. They often, once bought into the team, will take on so much responsibility as they have such a strong need to drive things through. They will not deviate from the agreed course of action as such a course will have been arrived at after painful and serious deliberation. The INFJ is unlikely to do anything that abrogates their belief system but their strong ‘J’ means that when they think it’s right, they will drive relentlessly for closure and become animated and outspoken in defence of the cause.

The INFJ personality type will come up with genuinely radical and different ideas and solutions and will be a great driver for the team. Less concerned with self and ego than with the cause the INFJ will work both tirelessly and selflessly in pursuit of the teams’ goals, once these are clearly and completely aligned with their own. Indeed, they often take on far too much, but this is simply due to the INFJ desire to complete. Once they have arrived at the conclusion that this is worthwhile, a process that will see the INFJ be quietly and at times tortuously reflective then they want to get on and do, and quickly. Others may find this paradox perplexing: that a quiet, introspective individual can transform in an instant into a crusading leader. And this transformation is binary, with no granularity; the INFJ will be reflecting or crusading, nothing in between.

Although introverted, the INFJ has very strong opinions, honed over much private reflection and will voice these strongly, less concerned with self and ego than with the cause. INFJs can make inspiring leaders as followers will believe in them and want to ‘sign up’, having a devotion to the cause that borders on evangelical, so people will have a crystal-clear vision of what could be. Strongly humanitarian, INFJs tend to be idealists, but because of their desire for closure and completion, they are generally ‘doers’ as well as dreamers, who take on a disproportionate amount of responsibility.

Meaning is at the heart of who the INFJ is and they would not be motivated by ‘doing a job’ but need a cause, something which is important to them, something to believe in. Strongly humanitarian, INFJs tend to be idealists, and because of their desire for closure and completion, they are generally ‘doers’ as well as dreamers, who take on a disproportionate amount of responsibility.