Communication and collaboration
INFPs have unusual, contrary qualities in that they are shy and reserved, but like to be included, like they want to be invited to the party, they may not show up, but they love the fact that’s they’re invited. Getting close to an INFP would be difficult, especially initially. They are caring and supportive, genuinely so, but give very little of themselves away as they are deep, private and difficult to know. INFPs are super patient, optimistic, kindly and really supportive of people, tuning into others, often the glue among the team, but more in a one-on-one setting, more behind the scenes. INFPs can actually feel what other people are feeling, and these feelings can stay with them. INFPs are OK with emotions, emotional language and with others coming to them for support, they are genuinely tuned in and empathetic. But in an INFP opening up to people, that would take time and trust and a lot of patience, and a position that not many people will get to.
Because they’re quiet and private, INFPs often say very little, and will hold their own counsel, which all adds to that ‘difficult to understand’ view of them. Also, INFPs will often display their reactions to their feelings, rather than the feelings themselves, and so may bottle things up which then can leak out at strange moments, adding to their enigmatic image. Also, an INFP does not like to be tied down to specifics, as they will often not say what they mean, or what is actually happening and instead are more likely to allude to how they’re feeling, rather than what they think
It’s difficult for INFPs to make objective, less emotional decisions as INFPs feel things intuitively, they really feel things and so to step back and make a dispassionate analysis of a situation or a person is hard for them. This is because INFPs are so driven by their own internalised value system and these values run very deep and are very personal to them. They also take things very seriously and very personally, and can take criticism to heart, getting deeply wounded by a slight remark but, rather than explore this with the other person, the INFP will withdraw and dwell on it internally. As INFPs are difficult to know and their value system is very personal, people may accidentally say or do something that offends, without ever realising it had transgressed an INFP value. INFPs also need their beliefs and actions to be in absolute sync and so they’re unlikely to do something that they don’t believe in their heart is right.
The starting point for an INFP is always to see the ‘good’ in people. They have a real need for karma, for balance and at all costs, harmony. They are gentle types who care deeply and will want to create and maintain harmony and peace. Friction really jars with an INFP and they will work hard to smooth it over, or they will withdraw, as it saps their energy. Paradoxically, the gentle, quiet, INFP can on occasions, become more outspoken if someone is being hurt, or there is a deep injustice, they will speak out, they just have to. But then they will withdraw, slightly embarrassed that they had become uncharacteristically forthright and displaying what they thought to the world.